Harry Potter: Slash Writer
by Kiara7
Summary: A Harry/Draco, implied (kind of) Draco/Ron masterpiece. Wherein Harry writes slash and is annoyed by the NC-17 ban. Rated for Harry's sick, perverted mind.


**This is a one shot little ficlet that popped into my head while working on a Draco/Ron series.  This particular story is a Draco/Harry pairing with a touch of Draco/Ron on the side (they don't do anything.  You have to read it to understand).  It was a stroke of genius on my part so do read and please enjoy.**

**HARRY POTTER:  SLASH WRITER**

"I still don't understand this Intranet thing," said Draco, leaning over Ron's shoulder to peer at the screen.

"Harry taught me all about it," replied Ron, clicking on some random link.

"He tried to teach me but I still don't understand.  Muggles make things far too complicated."

Ron snorted at this but refused to comment.  Two years had passed since they graduated from Hogwarts and it was three since Harry and Draco first started dating.  Ron had been wary of it at first but he had come to accept it and had even made friends with Draco after many fights and urging from Harry.  They were spending the afternoon together while Harry was at work and they decided to spend it exploring the Internet on Harry's laptop.  He had insisted living muggle and Draco, after a few squabbles and unkind words, agreed.

Living muggle, however, meant Harry had to explain a lot to Draco and Ron about everything.  He started slow with things like light bulbs, batteries, and kitchen appliances.  Working his way up, they got a television and DVD player.  Two weeks ago, Harry had gotten the most recent installment:  his laptop.  Ron and Draco watched in fascination as Harry surfed the Internet and though the tried to explain it to them, neither one got it.  One night, Harry had even caught Draco poking the screen, trying to get it to do something.

"What are we supposed to do?" asked Ron, still clicking on various links.

"I don't know.  Harry just sits there and clicks like that.  I don't see anything interesting," said Draco.  "He usually visits fan pages."

"That still cracks me up," said Ron.  "To think Muggles know all about Harry but they only think he's fiction!"

"I know," said Draco, smirking.  "The people who like Harry, though, don't really like me.  Not that there aren't people who like me.  I'm impossible to resist."

"Right, because your vanity is so flattering," teased Ron.

"I don't know what you're going on about, Weasley.  _No one_ likes you.  Harry told me so.  They all think you're either rude or annoying.  Not to mention a complete bastard.  Except for that fellow he plays you in that muggle movie.  He likes you."

"I'm flattered.  What do you think, Malfoy?"

"About what?"

"Me."

"I think you eat all our sweets when you come to visit and _that is annoying."_

One of the first things Harry, Ron, and Draco had found when getting the Internet was that when Harry typed his name into a search engine, countless links had popped up.  They learned that someone had been writing stories about their years at Hogwarts and Ron found this so hysterical he nearly cried with laughter.  Harry had gone to buy the books the next day and the three stayed up for four nights in a row to take turns reading the books aloud.  They were now eagerly awaiting the fifth book's release in June and had presently seen both films.

"What do you think is going to happen in that seventh book?" said Draco, suddenly.

"What?  Why?"

"Because that Rowling woman can't write the truth.  It's a child's novel.  She'd have to highly censor it to not write about Harry and I shagging."

"Good point," said Ron.  "Strange, though.  For a children's novel, Harry still gives off a lot of gay vibes."

"Especially with those less than lukewarm feelings for Cho Chang," said Draco, snickering.  "What are you doing, Weasley?"

"Reading some petition Harry seems to have started about not shutting down NC-17 Harry Potter slash fanfiction.  Er - what do you think that means?"

"I don't know," said Draco, off-hand and picking at his nails.  "What's fanfiction?"

"What's NC-17?" said Ron.

"And what's slash?"

"I don't know.  I would think fanfiction is fiction written by fans?"

"Sounds good.  Fans of what?  Harry?"

"Harry's books."

"Good answer.  People write stories about Harry's books?  Like what?  Granger and Harry in puppy love?"

"Should I check Harry's bookmarks?"

"How can you have bookmarks on the Intranet?"

"I don't know.  Should I check it anyway?"

"Go for it, Weasley."

Ron clicked on the bookmarks icon and looked down the list.  Somewhere in the middle was a page called fanfiction.net.  Figuring it may have some answers, Ron clicked on the link.

"Where do I go now?"

"I don't know.  See if you can log in."

"What does that mean?"

"I think it means the site will know you're Harry."

"But I'm Ron."

"It only has to _think_ you're Harry."

"How does it think without a brain?"

"I don't know," said Draco after a long pause.  "We'll ask Harry that when he comes back.  Click the link." 

"I wish Harry were here to explain this," said Ron, clicking the log in button.  He stared blankly at the space for e-mail and password before clicking on it and the screen name dracosnitch@hotmail.com came up.  Snickering, Ron clicked on it and as it displayed in the e-mail box, a bunch of stars appeared in the password box.

"Why does Harry have a bunch of stars for his password?" asked Draco as Ron clicked to sign in. 

"Where do I go now?" 

"Don't know.  You're doing a good job so far, Weasley.  Do you think Harry writes the stuff?" 

"He's so vain he just might," said Ron, laughing.  "Vain in a good way, of course." 

"Of course.  Click on - er - I don't know.  How would you find if he wrote a story?" 

Shrugging, Ron started going down the side bar to click on every single link.  After figuring he royally screwed up Harry's settings, he managed to find his way to the Stats page and clicked on the first of three links.  Without bothering to scroll through the review page he managed to find by what could only be described as a miracle, Ron clicked on Harry's screen name, also dracosnitch, and found his way to Harry's author page.

"He keeps bitching about the NC-17 thing.  Says that he hates this page and has reloaded all his NC-17 stories and rated them R, whatever that means."  Ron scrolled down some more.  "Here we go.  Yep.  Stories about himself, vain little fuck."

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"What's he write about?"

"Something about you, me, and this slash word is in here again.  What is this slash?" said Ron, sounding angry with himself for not knowing and the computer for not telling him.

"I don't know!  Click the link."

So Ron did.

They made it through the first three chapters okay before coming to the fourth and a third of the way down the page.  There, in plain black and white for the world to read, was _Draco gasped when he first felt Ron's sweaty flesh sliding across his own.  Just the sensation of their erections brushing, the source of all this sudden heat, was enough to make Draco's mind go blank.  Thought was completely gone upon feeling Ron's fingers brushing across his chest and Draco arched his back as Ron replaced his hands with his mouth._

"Get it off, Weasley!  Get it off!"

"Don't say that!"

"Weasley, you pervert, not like that!  Get that off the screen!"

Ron clicked the 'x' button at the top of the page, closing the screen.

"What was that?" said Ron after some time.

"That was - I mean - He's _my_ boyfriend, damnit!"

"I don't want him!  I'm straight!  I mean - you - I mean . . . why would Harry write that about us?"

"I don't know!"

"Harry's a porn writer!  Harry writes porn!  Your boyfriend writes porn about you and me!"

"What are you two screaming about?" asked Harry, walking in the room and dropping his coat on the arm of a nearby chair.

"The fact you want me and Weasley to be fucking!" said Draco.

"I don't want -" he started, before a smirk came across his face as he noticed the computer.  "Have you been to fanfiction.net?"

"No," grumbled Ron.

"Yes!" cried Draco.  "What was that?!"

"It was nothing.  It was just a story."

"About Weasley and I buggering each other?"

"So?  I felt like writing it.  I was bit by a plot bunny." 

"A what?" 

"Nothing.  Look, it's not that big of a deal." 

"Not that big of a deal," said Ron, grumbling.  "I think I'm going to go.  See ya, Harry." 

Grabbing his coat, Ron swept past them and headed out the front door. 

"What was that all about?  I told you I've been writing that stuff." 

"I know, I just like seeing Weasley get all flustered," said Draco, smirking. 

"You're so bad." 

"I know." 

Exchanging a kiss, Draco and Harry returned to the computer.  Ron didn't come by for another few weeks.

**If you enjoyed this, leave a review.  Please.  It boosts my confidence and encourages me to write more.**

**If I happened to use your e-mail in this, I'm sorry and please forgive me.  The email address used in this story does not belong to me so please do not send mail to the address.  My email is angeldlsm00@hotmail.com if you have a desire to reach me.**


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